Healing Begins When Authenticity Returns
Photo by Prithiviraj A
Why chronic illness persists—and what your body is really waiting for
What if the thing keeping you sick isn't what you think? What if it's not the diagnosis, the deficiency, or the trauma you haven't fully processed—but the version of yourself you're afraid to become?
You've tried it all. The supplements, the protocols, the therapy, the inner work. And still—the fatigue returns. The pain stays. Something in your body is holding on, and you can't figure out why.
Healing pauses when part of you still lives in an old story. You can't push your way into healing. The body needs permission. When your nervous system doesn't feel safe to shift, it holds steady—protecting the version of you it still believes you need to be. Even if that version is making you sick.
The Hidden Block No One Talks About
Symptoms often reveal the places where your roles, beliefs, and safety structures no longer fit. Chronic illness, anxiety, hormonal crashes—sometimes these are the body's way of saying: This version of you is done.
But if you're honest with yourself, healing brings visibility. Visibility brings pressure. If somewhere deep down you equate wellness with being pushed back into over-functioning, over-giving, over-performing—your body might hold onto the symptom to keep you safe.
There's a name for this in psychology: secondary gain. It means there's some hidden benefit to staying sick—something you might not even be aware of. Maybe being unwell is the only way you get rest. Maybe it keeps you from having to go back to a life that was burning you out. Maybe it's the only time people take care of you.
Research by Dr. Arielle Schwartz and others backs this up: when the benefits of a symptom outweigh the perceived advantages of recovery, we resist healing without even knowing it. None of this is conscious. It's happening underneath, where the body makes decisions before the mind catches up.
The loop looks like this: You want to heal. But healing would change how others see you—or how you see yourself. That shift feels unfamiliar, maybe even dangerous. So your body waits.
The Question You're Afraid to Ask
When healing feels stuck, I return to this:
Who would I need to become if this symptom were gone today?
The answer is almost never simple. Sometimes it's: I'd have to be more visible. I'd have to stop being so agreeable. I'd have to be emotionally honest. I'd have to lead my own life instead of managing everyone else's.
If those shifts carry risk or old pain, your body will keep you in the waiting room.
How I Discovered This in My Own Body
A while back, I developed a gum issue that came out of nowhere. My gums looked fine on the surface. I flossed daily. I went to the dentist every four months. But there it was—inflammation under the gumline that no one could explain.
So I did what I teach my clients to do. I got quiet and asked my body what it was trying to tell me.
What I've come to understand is that the body reflects what we believe—even the beliefs we don't know we're carrying. When there's a gap between who you're becoming and what your nervous system still holds as true, symptoms show up in that space.
The gums relate to expression, communication, support, and the grounding of speech. They're about nourishment and receiving. Mine were inflamed in exactly the spot where my voice wanted out.
What came up surprised me. I'd been feeling unsupported—for a long time. Not by any one person, but by life. Like I was holding everything up on my own and couldn't say so.
The inflammation was signaling that deeper belief work was needed—around safety, support, and visibility. My body was inviting me to live my truth. To be me.
Once I saw it, I started making changes. Small ones. Speaking up more. Asking for what I needed. Letting people know when I was stretched too thin. Expressing my boundaries instead of swallowing them.
When I started taking action, my body got the memo. The inflammation didn't disappear overnight. But it softened. My body had been waiting for me to get the message.
The Layer I'm Still Working On
That was one layer. But there's another I'm still working on.
Who would I need to become if this symptom were gone today?
I would need to become someone who isn't afraid to be wrong. Or judged. That means speaking up, sharing my views, putting myself out there in ways I've never done.
I'm still working up to promoting my business on social media. I'm afraid of messing up—coming off in a way that offends or disappoints. So I write instead. That's my comfort zone.
But what if I stay here in the comfy chair, writing away? What's the risk?
Without friction, there's little to no growth. To live in alignment with my authentic self means getting cozy with uncertainty. That feels like ICK.
But when I really think about it—what in life is actually certain? Almost nothing.
I could start recording videos and make a fool of myself. But what if I helped one person? What if I grew my business and built a better life for me and my family—while being of service to others?
I feel joy in my heart just writing these words. It can happen. If I choose this identity. The woman who's okay with being wrong sometimes. Who's willing to look a little goofy. Who shows up anyway.
How Chronic Illness Shows Up in the Body
I see this pattern with clients all the time. And maybe you'll recognize yourself in one of these.
Fatigue that guards against burnout—because last time you had energy, you gave it all away.
Digestive issues that mirror what hasn't been emotionally processed—what you've been swallowing instead of saying.
Autoimmune conditions as the inner war between belonging and authenticity—the body attacking itself because it doesn't know which version of you to protect.
The body speaks in metaphor, but it means every word.
A Practice for When Healing Feels Stuck
If you want to try this yourself, here's where I'd start.
1. Pause and get curious about the symptom. Don't try to fix it—let it speak. Ask: What version of me might this be protecting? What does that version fear about getting well?
2. Feel into it. Ask yourself: Who would I be if I didn't need this protection anymore?
3. Take one small action. Just one move that shows your system it's safe to be that self—today. Let your body feel the shift before you ask it to trust you.
Your Body Is Waiting
Your body is waiting for you to come home to yourself.
Symptoms show us which parts of ourselves haven't yet been brought along in the change. Healing happens when the whole system feels safe—when your body senses it no longer has to fight to be understood.
So let your healing include the version of you that had good reason to hold on.
That's the one who needs your trust the most.